The bereaved must be educators to the non-bereaved

The bereaved must be educators to the non-bereaved
By Jackie Wesley

It seems to me that since my daughter Teresa died almost 14 years ago, I have stepped into the field of teaching the non-bereaved how to treat those who are now bereaved. How else can we all live in harmony if others do not realize how we feel and will always feel after the loss of our loved one? Before Teresa died I absolutely didn’t know how someone who was bereaved was feeling. I guess ignorance IS bliss, at least in some cases.

At our monthly Compassionate Friends meetings we discuss how many non-bereaved people do not understand our feelings or how to help us. I know that to be true. Friends may desert us because they don’t know what to say or how to relate to us in our grief. That alone is another loss.

Those who have never experienced a grief so profound can never imagine what to do to help us. When we are grieving we cannot know YET what we need or what to tell others that we need.

Thank God, after we have traveled down the long lonely path of grief for a while, we become like teachers. We can relate to our friends, and sometimes strangers, who are interested in learning what has helped us. Hopefully they will use this newly found knowledge to help another at the time that it is needed.

I am always open and available to talk to groups about the loss of a child and the help that The Compassionate Friends support group offers.