Bereaved parents are courageous people

Bereaved people are courageous people
By Jackie Wesley

It has been said that it takes courage to let go after you lose a child or a loved one. I believe that is true, although it’s not a choice we give to ourselves. After a death, we may be considered courageous just to go on living, when what we really want most at that time is to join our loved one (at least in the beginning.)

We are never the same person as when our child or loved one was alive. We may become bitter; we may become more compassionate; we may even change the way we live our life. It takes some of us several years to feel we want to live again. I personally think doing something in our child’s memory is helpful and can even give us an uplifting feeling-- maybe a reason to begin living again.

When our child dies one of the most courageous things we can do is to walk into a Compassionate Friends support meeting. We all have found that after the second or third time we attend we are very comfortable sharing stories and memories of our children. It is comforting to be able to talk with others who have experienced the same feelings and to have the reassurance that we are NOT LOSING our minds (as many worry they are.)

Sometimes only the mother or only the father will attend, and that’s fine, as we all grieve differently. Many times both parents come together and learn from the other members many helpful ways to heal.
There are some very special music programs for bereaved parents that parents may find helpful in coping with their grief. On September 17 the Whitewater Valley TCF group is sponsoring an evening with Alan Pederson as a part of his “Angels Are Forever Tour”. Alan lost his daughter Ashley and has written many songs in her memory. If you know someone who would enjoy his beautiful music please come and invite them along. It will be at 7:00 PM at the Red Cross building in Connersville at Roberts Park. There is no charge