Rainbows may be a sign from our children

Rainbows May be a Sign of Hope
By Jackie Wesley

My friend Jan and I recently had an opportunity to attend a Regional Conference of The Compassionate Friends in Frankfort, KY. It was hosted by another friend, Karen who is the leader of the Frankfort chapter of TCF. It is always comforting to be together with other parents and chapter leaders who understand how we are feeling, and where we can share our thoughts and our grief.

We enjoyed all the speakers but one was so very interesting to me. Maybe it was because she voiced about everything I have felt but never had the words to put it down. I had not heard of the term “linking objects.” It describes a bereaved parent’s holding on to something our child had, or treasured, or something that makes us think of our child--anything that makes us feel closer to our child. (I have always used the term Symbols.)

The speaker, Linda , told of her daughter Liz’s love of rainbows, and how she always carried small colorful tufts of embroidery thread in her pockets. She had earlier mentioned she felt that her life was grey and colorless. After Liz, who was depressed, died of suicide, this mother realized her daughter was carrying a rainbow of sorts around with her in her pocket. The mother felt that perhaps Liz had created something colorful in her life.

The story made me think about one time when Teresa left to go back to her home in Fort Wayne after a visit. She saw a rainbow, and was very sure and also excited that the end of that rainbow landed on the hood of her car. While she didn’t receive a pot of gold, I think the gold from that story is now mine in the hearing of the story of a rainbow in another young girl’s pocket.

The speaker shared a piece of her rainbow thread with me, and I will now carry a rainbow in my pocket in memory of her daughter Liz and my daughter Teresa.