Does our grief ever get better?

Does our grief ever get better?
By Jackie Wesley

I find that after almost 14 years after my daughter Teresa died whenever I watch a movie with a death of a young person,, I can always recall some of the same feelings inside of me as when it was actually happening,, I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to re- visit those feelings but what I am sure of is; they are not nearly as strong as they were when it really happened that long time ago, and although I don’t like them, they let me know , she will always be missed and I will always be hurting inside,, It is not easy to tell the newly bereaved parents that it gets easier when in fact, it actually does,, but the hurt will never go away,, I feel they may be thinking that what is said is, when we say it gets better, we mean it goes away ,It does not!! Well, anything at all is BETTER, than at the time of our child dieing, it is the absolute worse. So from there on its all better.

I have watched two movies lately, One being Steele Magnolias. Actress Julia Roberts happened to star in it, and she also happened to be Teresa’s most favorite movie star, so it was double meaningful to me. In the movie Julia suffered a coma and was put on life support, just as Teresa was, I could relate to her family, especially her mother when she vented her anger and went through all the turmoil we parents have when we loose our child. She spoke the words I think we all do when our child dies, “ We are supposed to die first,, not our children!!.

This is why The Compassionate Friends is so helpful to me as well as to many others. I believe that support groups are very needed to help us be able to say aloud what we are feeling. We need to talk it out; as it helps us in our healing.