We can always treasure our memories

We can always treasure our memories
By Jackie Wesley

No matter how hard we grieve, or how long we grieve, in the end there will still be our memories. Nothing can ever take them away from us. Some memories will be sad, of course. Some may be in the nature of “I wish I had…” But after a long while, when we have had time to heal a little, most of our memories will be the good ones, the ones that bring warm feelings, maybe even laughter.

I have recently been hearing a commercial on TV -- in it a girl is laughing just like Teresa used to laugh when she really was having fun. It brings a smile to me every time I see or hear it. I have to wonder if anyone except her Dad and I have ever noticed the resemblance. A few years ago I doubt that I’d have found much enjoyment from a TV commercial with a girl laughing, but it just goes to show that we do change so much through the journey of grief. Sometimes just smelling the cologne or perfume that their loved one wore triggers a memory. Some, seeing another person who resembles their child or loved one, may recall how their child wore her hair, or how he stood or smiled. We have talked at our Compassionate Friends meetings about how we often see people who look like our child from a distance. For a fleeting moment it can give our hearts a real thump.

Perhaps when we decide (accept, maybe) that our child is really gone and give up the thoughts of the death, that is when the good memories set in. That was true in my own circumstance. There are times when hurtful thoughts come to mind, but it’s getting easier to push the bad ones out and dwell on the good ones--and there are so many of them!